


Read My Love Between the Lines

by Heath17_KO5



Series: Love Letters [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, fic in letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:42:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22092841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heath17_KO5/pseuds/Heath17_KO5
Summary: Christen goes to play in Sweden in 2018 and Tobin decides to write her letters, remembering she said she liked getting mail. Their letters back and forth as they open up more and get closer to admitting how they really feel.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Series: Love Letters [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703236
Comments: 27
Kudos: 300





	Read My Love Between the Lines

**Author's Note:**

> This is a different style for me and I've had a high fever for 2 days in a row, my entire family (including all 3 kids - and it's the twins' 3rd birthday today) has the flu and fevers, and this is completely unbetad, so if it massively sucks, please blame it on that. if you do happen to like it, please leave a comment and make my pretty miserable week a little brighter! Also the dates on the letters may not be realistic for actual postage times (even expedited) between Portland and Sweden. I don't care.  
I hope everyone is having a good new year so far!  
xx

3/20/18

Dear Christen,

I know that we live in an age where we can facetime everyday if we want, but I remember you telling me how much you like getting mail, and I couldn’t resist. Hopefully this is at least a little bit of a surprise. I asked Kelley to get your address for me so that I wouldn’t tip you off. 

Is it weird to say that I miss playing on the same continent as you? And in the same league. The NWSL isn’t the same without that Mighty Press Power! Nobody strikes a ball quite like you. 

How’s Sweden treating you so far? I’m sure it’s nice to be back with your old club there in some ways. I hope you find what you’re looking for there. I hope you find that soccer spirit again. The game needs you. We need you, even if Jill hasn’t called you up again yet. She will. She’d be an idiot not to. (Well…)

I promised Sonny and Lindsey I’d say hi from them, even though I know for a fact that Lindsey texted you yesterday. I’ll probably talk to you on the phone before you even get this, so I don’t want to give you too much news that will be obsolete by the time this reaches you. 

I hope this piece of mail brings a smile to your face when you’re so far from home. 

Your Friend,

Tobin

  
  


_ 3/28/18 _

_ Dear Tobin, _

_ It was a surprise! A great surprise. Thank you! I love letters. I’ve always loved writing. I think in some ways you can express things on a different level with something like a letter than you can when you’re just talking or even texting. There’s more time to think about how to phrase something or what you want to include.  _

_ It’s not weird at all to say that you miss playing on the same continent. I completely get it. I miss that too. I miss Chicago and the fans there and my teammates. I miss Lyss’s subtle sarcastic wit and Julie’s energy. I miss knowing that I’ll get to fly to Portland and see (and play against) some of my best friends. I miss the support systems I’d built up at home, though I think it’s good for me to push myself, too. Sometimes staying in your comfort zone can be dangerous.  _

_ I REALLY miss being only a few timezones over from you and my family. It was easier before I had to do real math before I tried to call or text. Another bonus to letters, I guess! Anyway, it’s only a three month contract! _

_ It’s funny, but even though I was here before, I’d forgotten how beautiful Sweden is. The landscape is just nothing like you find in the States. The people, too, bring a whole different atmosphere. My Swedish is incredibly rusty, though. (Not that it was ever great to begin with.) I wish you had the time to come visit. It would be amazing to show you around. I guess for now our schedules won’t allow for it, though.  _

_ Talk to you soon, I’m sure. _

_ Sincerely yours, _

_ Christen _

  
  
  
4/5/18

Dear Chris,

Exploring Sweden with you sounds amazing. Maybe next off-season we could take a trip together? Assuming we get an off-season with the World Cup around the corner. Of course, you probably have the training hookups over there since you play there, so we could train and travel. That sounds pretty ideal, actually. 

What’s your favorite thing about living in Sweden? I know I made you think about what you miss last letter, so how about this time you tell me all the things you love. I’d much rather be responsible for positive thoughts than negative ones. 

Sonny has been flirting it up with one of our trainers recently. It is simultaneously kind of amusing and a bit insufferable. Even when Bailey is trying to treat her, she’s attempting to flirt, which I’m sure is NOT super helpful for Bailey trying to do her job. I’ve lost count of how many times Lindsey’s rolled her eyes at her now. 

Speaking of Linds, she’s really been on fire this season so far. I know it’s early to call it, but I feel like league MVP might be in her future this year. I’m so proud of the way the continues to develop every year. When I think back to when I first played with her at PSG and compare it to the way she’s playing now, it’s amazing to see the growth. And you and I both know that she wasn’t a BAD player then! It’s probably a little self-centered to think this, but I kind of hope that I’ve played a role in that development. I’ve tried to be a good mentor for her. She’s like family to me. 

Completely unrelated: I’m glad you can read my scrawl. I know it’s not the tidiest handwriting around. I was a little worried. 

Okay, I know I said I didn’t want to put negative thoughts out there, but I do just want to say that I think what I miss most about being on the same continent as you is that I don’t get to hear your voice as often. 

Okay, that probably sounds really cheesy. I don’t mean it to. I almost crossed it out, but I figure I wrote it for a reason. Who knows what that reason is, but there has to have been one, right? You’ll probably figure out the reason. You’re good at seeing through layers like that. 

Maybe we could try to call at least once a week? I know our schedules are chaos and with the time difference it’s hard, but maybe we can make that work? 

Well, now that I’ve been awkward, I’ll sign off. Good thing you know me well enough to know that I can be awkward and I’m still just me. 

Yours,

Tobin

  
  
_ 4/12/18 _

_ Dear Tobin, _

_ I’m holding you to that off-season trip. Of COURSE you wouldn’t be able to have a trip without football. Should’ve known. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who loves the game quite as much as you. I love it a lot, or I DID, anyway. I’m learning to again. It’s just been rough since the Olympics. I know you know that, but I’m not sure I ever told you exactly how much that missed PK cost me mentally. It made soccer not fun anymore. There have been other times in my life where it’s felt more like work, more like a job than a calling, but it’s never lost all of its luster for me before. I know that’s probably a hard concept for you to grasp. As hard as you work, there’s always this drive in you, this gleam in your eye when you have a ball at your feet. It’s something I’ve always admired about you. It’s like you were made to play this game, and I love to watch you do that. I stayed up really late the other night to catch your game against Orlando, actually. I was REALLY groggy the next day, so probably not my best choice ever, but it was good to see you play. All of you.  _

_ Hmmm...My favorite things about living in Sweden? That’s tough. I think, besides the incredible natural beauty, just the way that everything is so different. The way people carry themselves here, despite the short days of sunlight, there’s a cheeriness, a warmth to people. Getting to play a different kind of soccer is pretty amazing, too. And the way that everyone, not just people in the sports world, is so much more about getting outside and appreciating nature. That’s pretty cool. I don’t know. There are some cool museums here, too, but I haven’t had much time to explore them this time around. There’s so much HISTORY here. It’s in everything, every building, every stone, every path. You can feel it walking down the street. That’s pretty amazing.  _

_ I can totally see Sonny hitting on a trainer trying to help her. Has she managed to score a date yet? For all her wildness, I could see her being pretty charming, too. I couldn’t take dating someone with that much energy, though.  _

_ Of COURSE you had something to do with Lindsey’s development as a player. She looks up to you both on and off the field, and your bond has only benefited both of you. She’s so lucky to have you in her life. All of us who know you are lucky to have you in our lives, really. You’re amazing and you have every right to feel proud of what Lindsey has accomplished and of your role in that.  _

_ I know we already talked about this the other day on the phone, but doing so only reminded me how nice it is to get to hear YOUR voice more often, so yes, please, let’s keep that up. Once a week at least. You were definitely a little cheesy, but I didn’t mind. It made me smile, so I’m glad you didn’t cross it out. And here’s some cheesiness in return: talking to you makes me feel at home, even all the way across an ocean.  _

_ Affectionately yours, _

_ Christen _

  
  
  


4/19/18

Dear Chris,

You stayed up to watch a game? You’re ridiculous. At least I scored that game, though. 

I do love the game. I honestly can’t imagine a world where I didn’t play it, at least in some way. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t understand the idea of it feeling like work. I’m sorry for the stresses that you’ve been through since the Olympics. I wish there was a way I could make them all go away, but I know we all have our own personal journeys to get through in life, and this is one of yours. You can always talk to me about it, though. You can always talk to me about anything. I’m always willing to listen and offer advice if I can (and if you want it). 

Okay, after reading the things you love, I want to visit even more. I’m not much of a planner (I know you know that), so maybe you can make a list of things we should hit up on our trip? No rush, obviously. We’ve got some time before the off-season. 

Bailey is attempting to remain professional as far as I know, but I see the smiles she shoots Sonny. Sonny’s wearing her down for sure. 

So if you wouldn’t date someone with that much energy, what type of person WOULD you date? 

Thanks for saying that about Lindsey. It actually prompted me to talk to her about it as well, and she thanked me for the role I’ve played in her development both as her friend and colleague. I’m glad that fate threw us together in Paris. 

Feel free to call anytime you want to feel at home. Day or night. I never seem to mind when it’s you that wakes me up. 

Fondly,

Tobin

  
  
_ 4/25/18 _

_ Dear Tobin, _

_ Thank you for the offer. I think I’ll probably take you up on it. I’ve been doing some writing (besides these letters), too. Maybe I can share some of it with you. I find it very therapeutic. I think you’re right. This is the path I’m meant to be on, these are the mountains I’m meant to overcome. Each obstacle, each stressor, only serves to teach me something and make me stronger. It’s a good way to look at it.  _

_ I may or may not have already started working on a list of places I’d like to take you? You know me: perpetual planner. I can’t help it.  _

_ Asking about the type of person I’d date, Miss Heath? You might make me blush. I’d want someone who can complement me. Someone who can balance me. When I get too stressed and strung out, I need someone who can calm me down. Someone who’s relaxed and chill. Someone who I can just be me with. I think, if my past relationships have taught me anything, it’s that I need someone who will bring a bit of a “go with the flow” attitude into my life to balance my overplanning tendency. Mostly, though, I want to date someone who can make me laugh, who will give me space when I need it, who can understand the pressures of our lives and this game and the schedule conflicts that come with it, and who accepts me for me, imperfections and all.  _

_ What about you? Could you date someone as high energy as Sonny?  _

_ You can call me whenever too. Somehow I always have a better day when I’ve gotten to talk to you, so please don’t hesitate.  _

_ With affection, _

_ Christen _

  
  
  
  


4/30/18

Dear Chris,

I’d definitely love to read anything you write. I’ve always thought that you have an amazing way with words. I’m glad you’ve got something besides soccer that you find therapeutic. For me it’s my art. There’s something freeing about it, about taking an idea in my head and watching it come to life. And you can convey so many emotions in artwork. And small changes can change the feeling of a piece so much. It’s really cool to play with. 

My question made you blush? Why might that be, Miss Press? I liked your answer. I liked that you didn’t blow it off and you actually gave me a thoughtful answer. I feel like I actually have an idea of the type of person you’d go for now. Not that it’s any of my business, really, but as you’re one of my closest friends I figure it can’t hurt for me to know, right? 

I definitely couldn’t date someone as high energy as Sonny. I love the kid, but no. Besides, she’s like a mini KO and could you imagine dating KO? You’d never know when the next prank was coming! 

I liked what you said about being with someone who complements you. I think that’s true for me too. Like, I’d need someone who could like keep me to a schedule, make sure that the important things got planned, you know? It’s not like I’m incapable, but we both know that’s not my strength. I think sometimes I let myself get too comfortable, too, so maybe someone who’ll push me a little when I need it. Someone smart that I can talk about anything with, but someone open who isn’t going to judge every little thing. Like you, I think it’s important to find someone who understands the complications to a relationship that our line of work can bring. I need to date someone who will let me joke around but who understands when I need to be serious, too. I dunno. I guess I have this vision in my head of who my perfect girl would be, but getting it from your head to reality is something else, isn’t it? 

That was kind of rambly. Sorry. 

Is it too weird if I ask if there’s anyone you’ve got your eye on? Is that a weird thing for a friend to want to know? I just want you to be happy always. 

As eloquent a writer as you are, I’m not sure this is always my strongest method of communication. 

Looking forward to hearing your voice,

Tobin

  
  
  


_ 5/5/18 _

_ Dear Tobin, _

_ I’ve always loved your art. I’m glad you have that outlet. You’re such a creative person and it shines through in all aspects of your life, whether that’s on the soccer field, through a camera lens, or with your art. It’s one of my favorite things about you.  _

_ Did I say it made me blush? I think I said it MIGHT make me blush. Maybe I just have an overactive blush reflex when it comes to who I’d date.  _

_ I like your answer, too. Although this idea of you knowing who your perfect girl is has me intrigued to say the least. What’s stopping you from making it a reality? You or her or something else? If it’s fear, well, you shouldn’t let fear run your life. We can’t really. If we did we’d never go for that tricky play or risk that pass or try to reach the ball before the slide tackle hits us.  _

_ It’s kind of funny the things we have in common on our list. And the things that differ, too. I think it says a lot about why we work so well as friends.  _

_ Don’t worry about the rambling. My answer was kind of rambly, too, and you’re cute when you ramble. I could just picture you saying it in that little way you have where you get animated with your hands and your eyes get a little scrunchy.  _

_ As for if I have my eye on someone in particular, I think I’m going to keep that to myself for now. It’s not weird for you to want to know. Curiosity is a natural human thing. I just can’t lay all my cards out so easily, can I? I’ve still got a while left on this contract and we need something to talk about in future letters.  _

_ Hugs and Kisses, _

_ Christen _

  
  
  
5/11/18

Dear Chris,

I have NEVER seen you have an overactive blush reflex. I can barely think of a handful of times I’ve seen you blush (although it’s really adorable when you do). I don’t think that was it. 

What’s stopping me from making this perfect girl mine? I mean, well, she’s kinda more an idea of a girl, I guess. I mean, nobody is perfect. Real perfection would be creepy, really. Flaws can be beautiful. But even if she wasn’t just an idea, there could be all sorts of things keeping me from making a move. Not just fear, though it’s never fun to think of being rejected. Maybe there are other factors. Timing. Distance. Professional complications. There are lots of things that can get in the way of making functional relationships. There are lots of things that could stop me from making a move. I keep thinking about what you said in your first letter back to me. You said that staying in your comfort zone can be dangerous, and I agree, especially when we’re talking about professionally in our sport, but in our personal lives it can be just as dangerous to leave your comfort zone. 

So what you’re saying in your last letter is that you WILL tell me who you have your eye on, just not for a few letters yet. Am I reading that right? :) 

Yours truly,

Tobin

P.S. Have you heard anything from Jill recently? I know June camp selections are starting to take shape. Fingers crossed!

  
  
  


_ 5/17/18 _

_ Dear Tobin, _

_ Okay, so before I respond to anything from the bulk of the last letter, I have two bits of pretty exciting news: _

  1. _Yes, I have heard from Jill and it sounds like I’m going to make the roster. That means I’ll see you in June!_
  2. _You might get to seem me a lot more often because: the Utah Royals are looking to buy my contract and they’re talking to Koppabergs about ending my contract with them early! That means I could be back in the States before the end of this season! Nothing is official yet. No official announcements, so keep this to yourself for now, but I’m super excited! Ready to lose to the Royals??_

_ Now back to the other stuff: _

_ I do too blush. Maybe it’s less obvious with my complexion, but I can think of numerous occasions when I’ve felt a flush on my cheeks. Several when you were present, Tobin. It’s not my fault if you didn’t notice.  _

_ It sounds to me like you definitely have someone in mind, but I really like what you said about their flaws being beautiful. It sounds like you’re doing a really good job of making excuses for yourself, though. Timing can be worked out. Distance issues change (especially in our line of work). As for fear of rejection: what idiot would reject the great Tobin Heath? She’d have to be blind and have no taste whatsoever. I don’t think you should worry about that.  _

_ I don’t think that IS what I meant, no. I think I’m going to keep it to myself for quite a while longer. Good try, though.  _

_ Looking forward to seeing you soon, _

_ Chris _

  
  
  
5/22/18

Dear Christen, 

I know we covered this on the phone already, but I AM SO EXCITED THAT I WILL GET TO SEE YOU SOON! The idea that I won’t have to do complicated math to figure out what time it is where you are before I call is AMAZING. And knowing I’ll get to actually be in the same room as you soon is even better. I saw your name on the official roster and it’s not an exaggeration that I jumped for joy. 

You’re funny that you think the Thorns will lose to the Royals, though. You and ARod are good, but we’re better. Bring it on, Sweden girl. Give it your best shot. 

You’ve blushed several times around me? When? Where? Why? Next time you blush around me, I request that you point it out. Thanks. 

You’re busy telling me to go for someone I might be interested in, but you’re hiding who you might have interest in and clearly you’re not going for them. What’s stopping you? What’s holding you back? Seems like the pot calling the kettle black. 

Counting down the days,

Tobin

P.S. Go Thorns!

P.P.S. YOU’RE GONNA GET YOUR 100TH CAP! 

  
  
  


_ 5/28/18 _

_ Dear Tobin, _

_ You’re such a dork. Royals all the way! Have you forgotten that KO plays for them too? Should I send you the records from the last time she and I played together? Plus Barnie in goal! Stanny squad for the win! You talk a good game, Portland girl, but trust me, we’re gonna bring it!  _

_ Thank goodness I’m actually being called back to camp. I almost didn’t want to think it would happen until it actually did. I feel like nothing in my career has been a sure thing since I missed that PK, but maybe now things are starting to get back on track. It was definitely a huge sense of relief when Jill gave me the official call.  _

_ I definitely do NOT have to point out when I blush. Why would I do that? It would make me blush harder! And it’s none of your business why. You should just try to be more observant, obviously.  _

_ You may or may not have a point about me holding myself back for going for someone I’m interested in. Maybe you’re right that things aren’t always easy. Some risks seem riskier than others. Maybe the person I want is already in my life in a really valuable way and I just don’t want to lose that.  _

_ See you before you know it! (IF she plays me I get my 100th cap!) _

_ Love, _

_ Christen _

  
  
  


6/3/18

Dear Chris,

This is going to be the last letter I have to send to Sweden and I’m so excited! (Hopefully you get it before you leave!)

You say Stanny squad for the win, but I’m pretty sure I remember beating you guys at the College Cup! And who played that game with me? Oh, right: Kling. And, wait, she plays for the Thorns with me too! Huh. Crazy. Guess we’re just gonna keep winning. :D

I always knew you’d get called back. There is no way that Jill could look at all of the talent that you have, the technical skill that you bring to the team, the experience, the dedication...No WAY she could just never call you back up. You’re too valuable. I had faith. I always have faith in you. 

Do you think your person that you’re interested in reciprocates that interest? The more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I think maybe it’s worth the risk. Besides, like you said, circumstances like distance can change. 

I can’t wait to see you soon! Ready to help me kick China’s butt? Can’t wait to play alongside you again! (She’s gonna play you. 100 for CP!)

Love,

Tobin

  
  
  
  


_ 6/12/18 _

_ Dear Tobin,  _

_ So maybe this is silly because I’ll be hand-delivering this, but I’ve gotten so used to writing things to you, even though we talk all the time too, that I decided that the best way to do this was in a letter. If nothing else, it will give me a chance to get my thoughts in order and make sure I get to say everything I want to.  _

_ I blush around you all the time. I always have, even back when we’d play in college. I blush when you tease me. I blush when you move in close. I blush when you touch me. I blush when I catch my eyes lingering on you a little too long. Maybe the reason that you haven’t noticed is because I blush around you so much that you just think that’s how I normally look.  _

_ You were right to call me out on not being willing to make a move when I was encouraging you to go after the person you have feelings for, but I was too busy convincing myself I was justified. After all, the person that I want is also my best friend, the person who can always make me smile, whose voice feels like home, and whose letters have given me new life while I’ve been across an ocean. How could I risk it when rejection might mean losing you?  _

_ But I was building my own mountain and talking myself out of trying to climb it and this year has shown me that I can’t do that.  _

_ So here I am, putting down in words, that the person I want is you, Tobin. And this is me having faith that, if my romantic feelings aren’t returned, our friendship, our bond is strong enough to withstand this. I have faith that we can find each other as friends again and end up stronger, even if I get a broken heart along the way. Whatever capacity you’re willing to have me in your life, I will take it gladly, but here’s me hoping that maybe, just maybe, I’m the person you’ve been thinking of as being the complement to you.  _

_ For me, you’re the laid back, chill influence I need. You’re the person that can always make me laugh. You know when I need space and you know when I need support and you give both before I can even ask for it.  _

_ You asked if the person I like reciprocates it, and the truth is I’m not 100% sure, but I have hope.  _

_ I’ve had a crush on you for years, and then you were my best friend and now… _

_ Now I guess I’m laying it all bare. Whether or not I’m your dream girl, you’re mine, Tobin Heath.  _

_ With all my love, _

_ Christen _

  
  
  


6/12/18

Dear Christen,

It feels weird to write this knowing that you haven’t sent a letter back since the last one I sent, and that you’re just down the hall in a different hotel room so I won’t even have to mail this. I guess I just wanted to get this out before I lost my nerve and I’m so used to writing to you now that it seemed like the best way to do it. 

When I saw you play today, when I saw you get your 100th cap and got to celebrate with you and hug you and hold you close and share in your joy, it made me realize that you were right all along about making excuses. I’ve made excuse after excuse for years. I let the fear of rejection rule me. I’ve let distance stand between me and what I want, until that distance grew even greater and I still couldn’t stay away. I told myself the timing wasn’t good. I told myself that it was too complicated to try to have a relationship with someone I have to work with too. I made up excuse after excuse to keep myself from putting myself out there and taking a risk. 

I can’t do that anymore. I’ve always been good at having faith. I’ve let faith guide me through good times and bad. So why haven’t I had a little more faith that this won’t end up in disaster? 

I don’t know. 

What I do know is that you’re my best friend. You’re the first person I think of telling when anything happens in my life, good or bad. You’re more often than not my first thought when I wake and my last thought before I fall asleep. If the strength of our bond can’t withstand me trying this, then our relationship isn’t what I thought it was to begin with. That would be heartbreaking, but I can’t let fear of that rule me anymore. 

What I do know is that at some point you stopped just being my best friend, and started being someone who had completely stolen my heart. Every word I wrote about the type of girl I’d want to date was written with you in mind. You’re the person I’ve had in mind. You’re it, Chris. You’re the woman that I want to take a chance with. You’re the woman I want to try to make a reality as someone I’m with, someone I could share my life with. 

Even though I’m writing this out, I still don’t feel like I’m saying it very well, so let me just cut straight to the point. 

I love you, Chris. As a best friend, yes, but as so much more. I’ve been falling for you for a while, and it’s time you should know that, whether you feel the same or not. 

Love forever,

Tobin

  
  
  



End file.
